Book Reviews, Family, Foster Parenting

I wish I were DEAD!!!!!!!

I mean, not me personally.

It’s just I’m reading Varney the Vampire.  And this wish for death seems to be a reasonable reaction to the crazy stuff happening to these dudes.  Varney the Vampire is a Victorian “penny dreadful.”

Yes, I bought it because of the title and the realization that it was an old school trash novel.

I love the idea that although it was the crap fiction of its day, AND it’s still around.  These two facts makes me think that Varney the Vampire is sure to be the best of the old school trash books.  And as such…I find it delightful to visit there.  I love escapist fiction.  Though, I often read the traditional classics, I LOVE escapist fiction.

Just so much.

And, it turns out I have a bit more reading time (in print) lately that normal.  This is because BoyBlue (who is 2) can get out of his crib.  So I spend from 7:00pm to ?? reading and sitting outside his room and saying in a growly voice, “Lay Down!” every time he tries his trick of throwing his blanket out, becoming histrionic, or just kung-fuing to freedom.  Then I get to read EVEN MORE while I bounce TinyPants who is also as fussy as can be.  So…kindle in one hand, aspirin or baby in the other.


Anyhoo, I’ve noticed as BoyBlue 360s in his crib in pure fury that his emotional depth is like unto the tolerance of the Bannerworths from Varney the Vampire.  Essentially, they’re toddlers in adult form.  Fighting vampires.  

Now, in order to give you an idea of my abilities to deal with the crazy that is my house, I *just* realized that Sir Frances Varney in the book is the vampire that keeps attacking the Bannerworths.  I’m a sleuth.  Sherlock Holmes has nothing on me.

varney2If I’m right, good ole Varney was released serially in the newspaper.  It certainly reads like episodes of a soap opera.  And then, with my amazing sleuthing abilities, I realized that serialized novels = first form soaps.  Especially the pulp ones.  Maybe not so much Wives and Daughters, etc.

I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore.  Except this book makes me smile.  The characters occasionally call each other by their full names.  They would rather be dead than have to deal with the vampire, but (so far) won’t leave behind their family home in order to escape him.  They fly off the handle, speak formally, faint at the drop of a hat (or scratch of a vampire) and quote Shakespeare without reference to the bard.  Not sure why.  Because it makes them seem smarter?  Did they do that back then, or did most Victorians run around quoting Shakespeare?  Who knows?

But, Varney the Vampire feels spooky and fun.  Like, I think, The Mystery of Udolpho* was supposed to feel, but never did for me.  But Varney does.  It pulls on the same part of me as The Haunting of Hill House** did, but without the same brilliance.

On a side note, I’ve read at least a few hours of it.  Normally, I’d have finished a book in that time frame, and I’m 6% through.  So it’s a beast of a book.

Which is ok with me.  Because it makes me smile.


The Mystery of Udolpho is an early gothic novel mocked in Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, and that is why I read it.

**The Haunting of Hill House is by Shirley Jackson and is utterly brilliant.  If you wan’t to read an amazing gothic style book, read that one.

ps I apologize if this blog is too full of references to obscure books.  I’m not trying to sound like a douche.  I just read by utter whim.  Hence reading the book mocked in Northanger Abbey  and a book called Bulldog Drummond.  My reading style can only be called kooky.


10 thoughts on “I wish I were DEAD!!!!!!!”

  1. Hi. This is the first time that I have picked up one of your blogs and I am glad that I did. I really enjoyed this post and am amazed at the difference in the books that you read. I am a typical ‘one’ style book reader although since I have been writing myself I have been trying to broaden my horizons.! Thank you for an enjoyable post.

    1. I’m so glad you enjoy them. I love to read all over the place; it’s like enjoying both salty and sweet. 🙂 What do you like to read, and I might be able to make some recommendations…

      1. I usually stick to the romance/thriller genre which is what I am writing at the moment. I do think I need to read something that is going to teach me something different although I don’t have the time to get into anything heavy – I know I’d just get fed up and never finish it. Any suggestions?

  2. If you want to read a classic, I’ll be obvious and recommend the major romances (ie Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, or Jane Eyre). Recently, my faves have been The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (YA), The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie (Mystery), Bulldog Drummond (1920s Adventure), The Daughter of Smoke and Bone (YA). I don’t read a lot of thrillers, but I do love Regency Romances, and the Urban Fantasy Romances.

    I’ve been reading random classics lately, and I’m not sure that’s where I’d recommend that you start though something like Barchester Towers is really funny. You just have to plow through like 200 pages before you start giggling.

  3. Thank you for your recommendations, I really appreciate you taking the time to give me some ideas. I don’t know if you’ve been nominated before but I recently got nominated for the Liebster Award for blogs and thought that I would pass it onto you as I have been really enjoying your reviews and your way of looking at things. I took the nomination as a compliment as it’s a way of showcasing other blogs so I hope that you don’t mind me nominating you? Here’s the link to my site for what it’s all about and then you’ll see your nomination etc.. . Take care, Jade.

    1. Thanks for the nomination! I hope that you like one of the books. If you’re ever on goodreads, that’s a good way to find people who like the same books as you and try some other things they like.

  4. My husband and I had a bit of a panic attack when Josiah learned how to crawl out of his crib last summer! We ended up putting a baby gate in his doorway (we thought he would freak out too much if we closed the door on him) and converted his crib to a toddler bed (so that way he could get back INTO bed after climbing out). We had to do a lot of helping him back into bed at first, but eventually he realized there was no where for him to go, so he stayed in his bed and went to sleep.

    1. Kids! BoyBlue is on his way home to his mumma. Otherwise, I’d probably be doing your route with the baby gate (which he could kung-fun over), and such. As he’s leaving me soon 😦 I think I’ll let his mom deal with it on her own, in her own way. That way no mixed messages.

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